A New Understanding

I'm a fixer, it's a hard habit to break when you're so accustomed to doing it. The difficult part is that being a fixer wears you down and quite honestly has a way of keeping you in a fretful state. Any problem that pops up seems like it has to have a solution, whether it's with the job, kids, family, friends, ministry, etc, there has to be a solution and I set out to find it. 

When something takes place that feels like it has completely thrown me off-course and has a huge impact and I'm struggling to "fix it", I often wonder "why God, why is this or that happening, why can't things just be simple? There's a simple solution, why can't this just work?" And then comes the thought of one of these days in Heaven I'm going to ask God why things had to be this way. 

Interestingly though when that thought recently crossed my mind as I was upset and struggling, I had a moment of a new understanding . . . an "Aha!" moment you could say, but I it wasn't something that just came to me of my own accord. I truly believe that the Lord was using this thought to settle me down from my constant need to fix things. As I was struggling through the hurt and frustration and the "I'm going to ask Him why one day", it hit me that when I get to Heaven and see my Savior, all of the "why's" will no longer matter. You see my focus will be solely on worshiping my Lord and Savior. 

Moments later I read 2 Corinthians 5 and I began to realize that my need for answers why is an earthy desire. What I need to do is continue leaning and depending on Him knowing that He works all things together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). I need to try to look at each situation from what He may be teaching me and what He has planned and rely on Him to provide the solution in His time. 

I know I'll still want to swing into Ms Fixer mode, it's a force of habit. But hopefully now, when those situations that seem like they need fixing but I just can't fix them happen, I'll settle back and rest in Him and focus my thoughts on being pleasing to Him (2 Corinthians 5:9) and less on worrying and fixing the issue even if it feels like it will destroy me. 

2 Corinthians 5:1-9

"For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven, inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked. For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life. Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge. Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord— for we walk by faith, not by sight— we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord. Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him."

Learning To Let Go

Life is full of lessons that we encounter, even as adults. It seems one of the hardest lessons is learning to let go. The "what" really doesn't matter, the reality is that letting go is hard! Regardless if it's our will, way, wants, control, time, money, pride, hurt - whatever it is, it's not easy to let go. 

As a Mother, God's been teaching me a lot of "letting go" lessons over the past 22 years. Each phase of learning to let go is different with varying degrees of difficulty and emotion. It starts from the time that your child is born and quite honestly I'm realizing that there will be some type of learning to let go throughout the rest of my life on this earth. 

There's learning to let go and let them learn on their own to crawl, then stand and then walk. From there, there's a never ending list of letting go: the first day of school, the first sleepover, the first audition or tryout, and that's all before the teen years. For me, it has seemed at times like the teen years have tidal waves of learning to let go tests. 

I've always been a firm believer in prayer and the power it holds, but I do believe that learning to let go of the boys God has entrusted to us has taught me how important 1 Thessalonians 5:17 is that simply says "pray without ceasing" (NASB).

When both boys began driving, prayer was a constant any time they were out on the road. The phone rings and I find myself tense up immediately. Can I get a witness?

I'll also admit that for me the teen years and the whole process of learning to let go were (and have been) some of the most difficult. However, in the midst of it, God has always been faithful as He's taught me more about His love for us as His children.

Through all of it though, somehow I've had this crazy thought that letting go was going to get easier. Yes, crazy I know. 

Now we're facing a new level of letting go, a new journey called deployment. 

With it come the echoes that letting go is hard! Letting go is a fearful thing quite honestly.

Recently some of our closest friends came together to pray over our Soldier and our family. Before prayer began, several of our precious friends mentioned not being able to imagine being a parent and having to let go of their child. Sitting there listening to them, I felt the same way, I couldn't imagine it. Then, one spoke and said that even though they couldn't, our Heavenly Father knew exactly what it was like. It was at that moment that I started to feel a peace wash over me, reminding me that we are not alone. The God of the Universe knows exactly what we're going through and at a much more intense level because He willingly gave His only Son so that you and I could know and experience what true freedom means.

So as we as a family journey down this unfamiliar path of letting go, I will pray without ceasing and I will take comfort in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 . . .

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ." (2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NASB)

Even on the days when letting go is so very hard . . . Lord, help me to chose to seek and take comfort in YOU!